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The fact that you want a normal life does not surprise me at all. How are you different from me? If you think about it, each of us has special needs. You have them bigger, I have them smaller. But we still want the same thing - to meet beautiful women, fall in love, have a serious relationship. How to communicate with women you are interested in online? I advise you to read the useful articles here https://loveinchat.com/about-online-dating/ I am sure that this is exactly what you are missing.