To change practices holding back minority groups, more concrete steps are needed. These could include reforming recruitment processes (for instance, rethinking language on job adverts that evokes stereotypically male traits, or removing photos, names and mentions of age from job applications). Mentoring is particularly useful for underrepresented groups. “Certain elements of unconscious bias training are worth retaining if they are contributing to a longer-term, sustainable programme,” says Tresh.

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The training can take many forms, in-person or online. You might take some form of implicit-association test, in which you’re presented with a quickfire series of images, and have to make rapid judgements of them, e.g. ‘black’, ‘white’, ‘good’, ‘bad’. You might attend a presentation about how biases affect people from stigmatised groups, and the ubiquity of such biases. You might roleplay as a hiring manager, to consider how differently you evaluate mock candidates from different groups. And you might participate in workshops that suggest strategies for overcoming bias, for instance through repeated exposure to counter-stereotypes.

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Even when a couple have the best intentions of splitting labour in an equitable way, external judgements and perceptions can get in the way, argues Siran Cao, the co-founder and CEO of Mirza, a London-based fintech company that focuses on the gender pay gap. This can leave female high-earners picking up extra work and responsibilities.

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And while women who explicitly hope to have children might experience very high levels of pressure to establish themselves early, research shows women generally are often discriminated against depending on their potential fertility – even if they don’t plan to have kids. This means employers often make hiring decisions based on whether they think a candidate is at ‘risk’ of becoming pregnant.

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Of course, heightism doesn’t only manifest in external judgements of an individual. Research suggests there are other height-linked factors that shape people’s behaviours, which can in turn affect outcomes at work. Kelly points out that many experts argue height is in fact positively associated with cognitive ability, and is simply rewarded in the labour market. She also suggests the larger question is whether shorter individuals might have faced discrimination in a way that affected their self-esteem, mental health and emotional stability – which can feed into promotions and pay.

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Dr Omer Kimhi, an associate professor at the University of Haifa, Faculty of Law, who has researched heightism, believes heightism has roots in evolutionary biases, due to the importance of height and strength in the animal kingdom. “If you’re bigger, you’re the head of the group. Some of that remains engrained… and we perceive height as connected to authority, strength and a higher position,” he says.

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After all, most dating apps were created with a gender binary in mind. Bumble, for instance, describes itself as “women-first” (per an email to BBC Worklife from a Bumble representative), assuming a gender binary when it comes to how people match up on the app. The Bumble representative, however, also notes that users can choose who they’d like to be seen by on the app, like if they want to be seen by “women, men, non-binary people, a selection of two options, or everyone”.

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Meanwhile, Haymen and her partner have now worked out a schedule of seeing friends and family twice a week, and although she says that it’s been tough getting used to having “date nights” instead of stretches of uninterrupted time together, she remains “head over heels in love”. The pair are still going strong, and she’s glad that they worked through the problems that coming out of lockdown initially presented.

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relationship or being polyamorous”. However, he adds, “relatively few are practising it in real life”. Although there is no post-pandemic data on how many people are in these arrangements, Canadian research from 2019 puts the figure at about 4%, with a similar figure emerging in a 2018 US study.

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The subject has traditionally been very taboo in many places, including the US, where Winston is based. In 2014, when she started the Multiamory podcast, she and her co-producers had to decide whether to use their real names on the ethnical non-monogamy show. “At that point, there was pretty much only one or two other podcasts actually broaching this subject,” says the dating coach. “And the people who were producing and hosting those podcasts used pseudonyms.”

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